My little gentlemen are officially 5 months old now! I'll never know how the time has gone by so quickly. Some mornings I wake up and still expect to see an enormous beach ball under my T-shirt. Yet other days my memory of being pregnant seems to be vanashing from my memory all together. I wanted to do a little recap on my pregnancy, birth and other memories I've had along the way for any readers who are interested, but mostly for myself so I never forget these special moments in my life!
FINDING OUT
I remember seeing that first little plus sign, and how life changing that moment was. When I think back to it, it replays in my mind in slow motion. Excitement, anxiety and fear were my main emotions. I don't think any other news in the world can give you as many emotions at once as to being pregnant!
My little men were not planned. In fact, my "plan" was to not have babies until I was at LEAST 30!
(Funny how God doesn't care about your plans.)
So there I was. I was officially with child. I had a little human growing slowly but surely inside my tummy. It was an automatic love I had for this little bean! I remember getting pregnancy books from my awesome friend Brittany and I would read them every day. I tracked its growth each week on "http://www.colwc.com/development.asp" and couldn't believe how magical it all seemed. Here I was doing absolutely no work at all yet this baby child was developing inside of me! The whole pregnancy experience was testimony to me of our Heavenly Fathers existence. There was no other explanation of this amazing miracle.
So there I was. I was officially with child. I had a little human growing slowly but surely inside my tummy. It was an automatic love I had for this little bean! I remember getting pregnancy books from my awesome friend Brittany and I would read them every day. I tracked its growth each week on "http://www.colwc.com/development.asp" and couldn't believe how magical it all seemed. Here I was doing absolutely no work at all yet this baby child was developing inside of me! The whole pregnancy experience was testimony to me of our Heavenly Fathers existence. There was no other explanation of this amazing miracle.
I was almost 3 months along before I went to my first Dr. appointment. My husband was working out of town so I went alone. I remember being extremely anxious and excited to finally see this little person I have been imagining in my head the past few months. my doctor came in, very casual and easy going and asked me some questions. Then grabbed the ultrasound wand and said "OK! lets see how many you got in there!" My response to this absurd statement was "Ha! there BETTER only be one!!"
Not even two seconds later, I saw there on the screen with my own eyes two little jumping babies. Two little heads and four little feet. (I really do believe God has a sense of humor!) hah!
My doctor instantly started laughing and said "um.. maybe I shouldn't have joked around before because.. you're pregnant with TWINS!"
OOooh man.. TWINS! I couldn't believe it! I started laughing to because I laugh in awkward situations. I remember going into the appointment with a thousand questions to ask him but after this news, my mind was so jumbled I couldn't think of a single one! I walked out of his office to go get some blood drawn and he grabbed every employee/ nurse on staff to tell them "she's having twins! she's having twins!" Everyone was congratulating me and telling me stories of twins they knew! I was still in shock!
I remember getting in my car and immediately started to bawl. (I'm ashamed to even admit this!) I sat in the parking lot for a good 20 minutes before I convinced myself to stop feeling so inadequate. This was a blessing and everything happens for a reason. This was all part of a plan for me. Then I realized someone who had a major roll in this still didn't know! I had no idea how I was going to tell my husband! I wanted to tell him in person but since it was Monday and he wasn't going to be home until Saturday, I wasn't about to wait! So I took a picture of the 3D ultrasound and sent it to his phone.
TWINS IT IS!
One of my most favorite things to be asked was "what are you having?!" Because I loved saying "TWO boys!" It was so fun to see their expressions. It was like no one had ever heard of twins before!
My pregnancy went be surprisingly perfect for being twins AND my first! I had nothing abnormal happen to me the entire time. I also didn't have one day of morning sickness and managed to stay stretch mark free! (I thank my mother for this because she didn't either!)
The last two months were quite painful for me. Little Cohen was up in my ribs and in the perfect spot to pinch my sciatic nerve! Any time I would sit, I would have unbearable shooting pains! His little butt was always poking at my right side so I would occasionally spank him for hurting mommy. :)
I found out my little twinners were identicle when I was about 20 weeks along. They shared a placenta which meant they were 100% sure they were identical! I'll explain myself- when an egg splits, its usually hours after fertilization giving the split eggs enough time to know to grow their own placenta. My little egg decided to split about 9 days later! Because it split so late, only one placenta grew forcing my little twinners to share their little meat market!
My doctor warned me of a little thing called "Twin to Twin transfusion" where one baby gets more nutrients, leaving only leftovers for the other twin. I was worried about this every day for the rest of my pregnancy. I had to go to a specialist once a week to measure them and make sure they were growing at the same rate!
(An example of twin to twin transfusion).... :(
Thank goodness, my babes were fine! They got along in the womb and shared their meals equally!
Here's some more pictures of the growing belly and other fun pictures!
(Over 8 months!)
(Over 8 months)
(This was one heavy belly!!)
(One of my darling showers my friend Ashton threw for me! Look at those little duck cupcakes!!)
(Cutest punch ever!)
Both my babies were breach so I decided to just plan on a C-section. I always thought a C-section was worse case scenerio so I figured if I planned on having one, there was no way I could possibly be let down in the hospital.
When I was 33 weeks along, I got extremely sick! I was achy all hours of the day, my nose was like a waterfall, my head pounded and I had the worst cough I've ever had in my entire life! Oh and the best part is when you're pregnant, you can't take anything. I went to the emergency room at one point because I was convinced I was dying. They gave me antibiotics and sent me home. (they didn't work.) Needless to say, I spent the rest of my pregnancy in my bed watching a lot of Netflix with my face over a humidifier.
ONE SCARY NIGHT..
I only had one "Oh no, they're coming" scare the entire pregnancy and it was 11 days before my inducing date. We had moved into my parents basement and were fixing up the apartment in the back where we were going to be living. We were no where near being finished so we spent most of our hours in the room working on it. (When I say we, i'm referring to my dad, brothers and Thomas. I sat in a chair and told them when they missed a spot!)
(Here's some pictures of the apartment! Look at how much work they did!)
(After!)
Anyway, it was close to midnight when my little brother looked down at my legs and asked if I was okay. My legs were twice the size they were normally and they were bright purple! (This is a sign of high blood pressure which is no good when your preggo!) Thomas rushed me to labor and delivery and after hours of being hooked up to machines, they sent us home!
(Giving us the OK to leave!)
THE MORNING OF, WE MADE IT!!
Having a scheduled C-section has its benefits. I was able to get my hair and nails done the day before (anything to make myself not feel so hideous) and I actually successfully did glitter toes on myself. Don't ask how. I thought my stomach popped a few times bending over like that.
My C-section was scheduled for 7:00am the morning of April 1st 2012. (This just so happened to fall on my 37 weeks mark and was the first day my doctor would take them so I said-i'll be there!) anyway, I needed to be there at 5:00am. I knew I wouldn't sleep that night because this was like the biggest Christmas morning ever!! I spent the entire night with my hands on my tummy, feeling each kick and trying to burn the feeling into my memory because in a few short hours, i'd never feel it again.
The drive there was a quite drive. It was still dark outside and it was cold and snowing. Thomas held my hand the whole drive. The second we pulled up to the hospital my stomach dropped! It was officially real! this was happening now whether I liked it or not! Those months and months of waiting were finally here and suddenly I didn't feel ready!
The first thing I did was put my gown on and fill out a million pages of paper work. A nurse came in and stuck an IV in the right side of my wrist and it was extremely painful! It hurt my entire hospital stay. My doctor popped his head in and asked if I was ready. Woooaah talk about instant nerves!
Thomas and I walked into the surgical room and I sat down on the bed. I remember the anesthesiologist being a really funny older gentlemen and was able to calm my nerves a bit. I was most scared of the epidural and that was just moments away from entering my back! I remember Thomas holding my hands and staring at me like "woah you do NOT wanna see the size of that needle!" (There were moments when Thomas's facial expressions only made things worse. This was one of them!)
This next part was the craziest experience. In went the epidural! I didn't feel a thing. No pain at all! I was so happy it was over with! He laid me on my back and about ten minutes later, he tested to see if I was numb by dragging a needle across my belly in which I felt EVERYTHING! So, he stuck me in the back again. Still- Nothing. This continued until he had poked me 15 times!! he then went on to tell me that in his 30 years of his career, this had never happened before! (That was just what I wanted to hear!) ;)
Another doctor noticed how high my blood pressure was. They sent someone to check my urine sample to see if I had protein in it- I sure did. Then they checked my reflexes at which I had none. I couldn't even feel them hit me in the knee. These next moments felt like a blur. I remember nurses running around the room, a doctor warning the anesthesiologist if they didn't get me numb right now, they would have to put me under because these babies needed to be out NOW!
Miraculously, 16 times was a charm! I felt my legs get all warm and then suddenly, I felt nothing. They strapped my arms down out to the side but I was able to hold Thomas's hand. This was another time where Thomas's facial expressions made everything feel worse! He looked extremely disgusted, but I couldn't blame him. It was a good thing they put a blue sheet up in front of my face because no way did I want to see what was going on down there!
That first cry was something i'll never forget. You go from being pregnant to being a mom in a matter of a split second and I think that's why no mother could ever forget this moment. Little Simon Eli Hughes came into the world at 8:26am 4/1/12 weighing 5.9 and 18 inches long. He was perfect and healthy! I only saw him for one second before they took him into the other room. Now I was waiting on little baby B! He was stuck up under my ribs and boy did it feel great to get him out! The second cry is where all my worry went away. They were both Ok! I was sooo relieved! My little Cohen James Hughes came only one minute after his big brother at 8:27am 4/1/12 weighing 4.15 and 18 inches long. Also perfect and healthy.
(Cohen right after birth)
They wheeled me into recovery and brought in little baby Cohen. That was the first time I ever held my tiny little baby boy. It felt amazing!! This was also where they told me Simon wasn't breathing on his own so they took him to the NICU. Words cant describe the worry I immediately had. (I was also diagnosed with bronchitis which meant no visiting my baby! They didn't want someone who was as sick as me in a room full of sick babies.)
(Me with little Cohen for the first time)
The next four days were very emotional for me. I had a connection with Cohen, but I started to feel extremely disconnected with Simon. I was scared I was getting postpartum depression because I felt so blah about the whole situation. Simon was with me every day of his existence then suddenly I couldn't be with him when I felt he needed me the most. I'm so grateful for Thomas during this time. He spent mostly all of it in the NICU feeding him, changing him, holding him and just being with him. He would come back and report to me all of his progress like they took his breathing tube out. Next came his feeding tube and then some IV's!
(daddy with Simon in the NICU)
It wasn't until he was five days old that I got to hold my little boy for the first time! I was on mad antibiotics and feeling a little better but I still had to wear a mask. All my disconnection feelings went away. I was so in love with this little man and knew everything was going to be okay!
(Me holding Simon for the first time!)
Simon came out of the NICU the very next day. It was perfect timing because we got to spend one day as a family in the hospital and then we got to leave, all four of us on April 7th! Here's a picture of our boys together for the first time since birth!
(Perfect sleeping babies. Proud shot from their mama!)
(One week old. Celebrating their first Easter!)
(Haha funny shirts.)
(Home from their first doctor appointment!)
(Simon used to always stick his fingers in his ears. Cohen showing us his guns!)
(Babies were almost 3 months old before they wanted to sleep in their crib!)
I never imagined the love I would have for my babies. Once they're here you wonder how you lived before! Everything seems to have meaning and purpose now. The smallest things make me the happiest. Like when they smile or laugh, I just about die! They have completely stolen my heart! And just look at them! They're about the cutest babies alive and there just so happens to be two of them! I can't get enough of them. My life feels so complete!
I remember getting in my car and immediately started to bawl. (I'm ashamed to even admit this!) I sat in the parking lot for a good 20 minutes before I convinced myself to stop feeling so inadequate. This was a blessing and everything happens for a reason. This was all part of a plan for me. Then I realized someone who had a major roll in this still didn't know! I had no idea how I was going to tell my husband! I wanted to tell him in person but since it was Monday and he wasn't going to be home until Saturday, I wasn't about to wait! So I took a picture of the 3D ultrasound and sent it to his phone.
(Here's the first image I saw of them! And the one I sent to Thomas! Clear as day there were two little ones in there!)
He called about five seconds later with so much excitement in his voice! "TWINNNS! OH MY GOSH I KNEW WE WOULD HAVE TWINS ONE DAY!!" I was so happy for his enthusiasm and in that moment, all my worries and fear disappeared.
(Theres a long story behind this picture, but when Thomas and I first started dating 7 years ago, he moved away. We wrote letters to each other every week and this was in one of his letters that I just so happened to keep! He really did know we would have twins! :) oh and don't ya love how he spelled later? haha)
TWINS IT IS!
One of my most favorite things to be asked was "what are you having?!" Because I loved saying "TWO boys!" It was so fun to see their expressions. It was like no one had ever heard of twins before!
My pregnancy went be surprisingly perfect for being twins AND my first! I had nothing abnormal happen to me the entire time. I also didn't have one day of morning sickness and managed to stay stretch mark free! (I thank my mother for this because she didn't either!)
The last two months were quite painful for me. Little Cohen was up in my ribs and in the perfect spot to pinch my sciatic nerve! Any time I would sit, I would have unbearable shooting pains! His little butt was always poking at my right side so I would occasionally spank him for hurting mommy. :)
(First pictures I got of my bump!)
(Me at 4 1/2 months along)
We spent our first little Christmas in our town house just the Two of us and of course, our growing babies. This to me was the most special Christmas I've ever had. I remember us looking for baby things more then items for each other and just dreaming of how fun future Christmas's with children will be!
The babies probably got more things then we did!
(Our first tree!)
(Christmas morning. Most of those gifts were for the babes!)
(Christmas Eve!)
(Haha I had to add this. Thomas got this for me because I was always complaining how nothing fit me and I was so uncomfortable in clothes. Its a forever lazy. "A snuggie you can WEAR!" and boy did I wear this a lot! I looked like a teletubbie!)
I found out my little twinners were identicle when I was about 20 weeks along. They shared a placenta which meant they were 100% sure they were identical! I'll explain myself- when an egg splits, its usually hours after fertilization giving the split eggs enough time to know to grow their own placenta. My little egg decided to split about 9 days later! Because it split so late, only one placenta grew forcing my little twinners to share their little meat market!
My doctor warned me of a little thing called "Twin to Twin transfusion" where one baby gets more nutrients, leaving only leftovers for the other twin. I was worried about this every day for the rest of my pregnancy. I had to go to a specialist once a week to measure them and make sure they were growing at the same rate!
(An example of twin to twin transfusion).... :(
Thank goodness, my babes were fine! They got along in the womb and shared their meals equally!
Here's some more pictures of the growing belly and other fun pictures!
(Over 8 months!)
(Over 8 months)
(This was one heavy belly!!)
(One of my darling showers my friend Ashton threw for me! Look at those little duck cupcakes!!)
(Cutest punch ever!)
(Lets just say I have the nicest friends/family ever!!)
(Boys room. I used to sit in that chair all the time and just wonder how life would be once they were here!)
(Ahh the anticipation!)
Both my babies were breach so I decided to just plan on a C-section. I always thought a C-section was worse case scenerio so I figured if I planned on having one, there was no way I could possibly be let down in the hospital.
When I was 33 weeks along, I got extremely sick! I was achy all hours of the day, my nose was like a waterfall, my head pounded and I had the worst cough I've ever had in my entire life! Oh and the best part is when you're pregnant, you can't take anything. I went to the emergency room at one point because I was convinced I was dying. They gave me antibiotics and sent me home. (they didn't work.) Needless to say, I spent the rest of my pregnancy in my bed watching a lot of Netflix with my face over a humidifier.
ONE SCARY NIGHT..
I only had one "Oh no, they're coming" scare the entire pregnancy and it was 11 days before my inducing date. We had moved into my parents basement and were fixing up the apartment in the back where we were going to be living. We were no where near being finished so we spent most of our hours in the room working on it. (When I say we, i'm referring to my dad, brothers and Thomas. I sat in a chair and told them when they missed a spot!)
(Here's some pictures of the apartment! Look at how much work they did!)
(Before)
(After!)
Anyway, it was close to midnight when my little brother looked down at my legs and asked if I was okay. My legs were twice the size they were normally and they were bright purple! (This is a sign of high blood pressure which is no good when your preggo!) Thomas rushed me to labor and delivery and after hours of being hooked up to machines, they sent us home!
(Giving us the OK to leave!)
THE MORNING OF, WE MADE IT!!
Having a scheduled C-section has its benefits. I was able to get my hair and nails done the day before (anything to make myself not feel so hideous) and I actually successfully did glitter toes on myself. Don't ask how. I thought my stomach popped a few times bending over like that.
My C-section was scheduled for 7:00am the morning of April 1st 2012. (This just so happened to fall on my 37 weeks mark and was the first day my doctor would take them so I said-i'll be there!) anyway, I needed to be there at 5:00am. I knew I wouldn't sleep that night because this was like the biggest Christmas morning ever!! I spent the entire night with my hands on my tummy, feeling each kick and trying to burn the feeling into my memory because in a few short hours, i'd never feel it again.
The drive there was a quite drive. It was still dark outside and it was cold and snowing. Thomas held my hand the whole drive. The second we pulled up to the hospital my stomach dropped! It was officially real! this was happening now whether I liked it or not! Those months and months of waiting were finally here and suddenly I didn't feel ready!
The first thing I did was put my gown on and fill out a million pages of paper work. A nurse came in and stuck an IV in the right side of my wrist and it was extremely painful! It hurt my entire hospital stay. My doctor popped his head in and asked if I was ready. Woooaah talk about instant nerves!
Thomas and I walked into the surgical room and I sat down on the bed. I remember the anesthesiologist being a really funny older gentlemen and was able to calm my nerves a bit. I was most scared of the epidural and that was just moments away from entering my back! I remember Thomas holding my hands and staring at me like "woah you do NOT wanna see the size of that needle!" (There were moments when Thomas's facial expressions only made things worse. This was one of them!)
This next part was the craziest experience. In went the epidural! I didn't feel a thing. No pain at all! I was so happy it was over with! He laid me on my back and about ten minutes later, he tested to see if I was numb by dragging a needle across my belly in which I felt EVERYTHING! So, he stuck me in the back again. Still- Nothing. This continued until he had poked me 15 times!! he then went on to tell me that in his 30 years of his career, this had never happened before! (That was just what I wanted to hear!) ;)
Another doctor noticed how high my blood pressure was. They sent someone to check my urine sample to see if I had protein in it- I sure did. Then they checked my reflexes at which I had none. I couldn't even feel them hit me in the knee. These next moments felt like a blur. I remember nurses running around the room, a doctor warning the anesthesiologist if they didn't get me numb right now, they would have to put me under because these babies needed to be out NOW!
Miraculously, 16 times was a charm! I felt my legs get all warm and then suddenly, I felt nothing. They strapped my arms down out to the side but I was able to hold Thomas's hand. This was another time where Thomas's facial expressions made everything feel worse! He looked extremely disgusted, but I couldn't blame him. It was a good thing they put a blue sheet up in front of my face because no way did I want to see what was going on down there!
That first cry was something i'll never forget. You go from being pregnant to being a mom in a matter of a split second and I think that's why no mother could ever forget this moment. Little Simon Eli Hughes came into the world at 8:26am 4/1/12 weighing 5.9 and 18 inches long. He was perfect and healthy! I only saw him for one second before they took him into the other room. Now I was waiting on little baby B! He was stuck up under my ribs and boy did it feel great to get him out! The second cry is where all my worry went away. They were both Ok! I was sooo relieved! My little Cohen James Hughes came only one minute after his big brother at 8:27am 4/1/12 weighing 4.15 and 18 inches long. Also perfect and healthy.
(Cohen right after birth)
They wheeled me into recovery and brought in little baby Cohen. That was the first time I ever held my tiny little baby boy. It felt amazing!! This was also where they told me Simon wasn't breathing on his own so they took him to the NICU. Words cant describe the worry I immediately had. (I was also diagnosed with bronchitis which meant no visiting my baby! They didn't want someone who was as sick as me in a room full of sick babies.)
(Me with little Cohen for the first time)
The next four days were very emotional for me. I had a connection with Cohen, but I started to feel extremely disconnected with Simon. I was scared I was getting postpartum depression because I felt so blah about the whole situation. Simon was with me every day of his existence then suddenly I couldn't be with him when I felt he needed me the most. I'm so grateful for Thomas during this time. He spent mostly all of it in the NICU feeding him, changing him, holding him and just being with him. He would come back and report to me all of his progress like they took his breathing tube out. Next came his feeding tube and then some IV's!
(daddy with Simon in the NICU)
It wasn't until he was five days old that I got to hold my little boy for the first time! I was on mad antibiotics and feeling a little better but I still had to wear a mask. All my disconnection feelings went away. I was so in love with this little man and knew everything was going to be okay!
(Me holding Simon for the first time!)
Simon came out of the NICU the very next day. It was perfect timing because we got to spend one day as a family in the hospital and then we got to leave, all four of us on April 7th! Here's a picture of our boys together for the first time since birth!
(such beautiful little newborns!!)
(Me trying to hold both of them at once!)
(Daddy doing it a little better!)
(Little guys in their "Copy/Paste" onsies!)
(Daddy changed every single diaper in the hospital! What a trooper!)
(Getting ready to go home!)
COMING HOME/ RECOVERY
The healing process from my C-section was extremely painful. I think the fact I had bronchitis during the birth and healing was where my main source of pain came from. If you've ever coughed before, you know you use your stomach muscles to do so! i would press a hospital pillow up against my stomach and try to cough as lightly as possible. Each time it felt as though my stitches tore! This happened a few hundred times a day.
I expected to recover and feel my 100% self in one week tops! We didn't leave the hospital for a six days and by the day we left, I was proud of myself if I could limp to the bathroom (which was two steps away from my bed!) I still to this day don't feel 100%. I'm really sensitive where they cut me and my skin is completely numb around that area which drives me crazy!
The day we left the hospital it was warm and sunny. I was so excited to finally be home as a family! The boys were weighed again and Cohen only weighed 4.05 so he wasn't allowed a car seat! he rode around in a car bed for his first few weeks of life. I had never heard of a car bed, but apparently if you weigh less then 5 pounds, that's what you get!
(Here's what a car bed looks like! This picture is Cohen at 2 months. He had outgrown his little bed by a long shot! He used to be all the way stretched out in it and he couldn't touch either end.)
Our apartment wasn't finished, so the four of us stayed in our little room for their first month of life. It was a tight fit! The babies had more stuff then we had!
(This is the room we stayed in. We had a California king size bed and it literally took up 90% of the room. The door couldn't even open all the way!)
It was a major adjustment going from a married couple to parents of two. I never imagined there would be moments of stress, or how sleep deprived I would feel. Unless you've had a baby, you'll never know how crazy that can make you! I remember just begging for three hours of straight sleep. No more of this up ever hour stuff! With one baby I would have taken turns with Thomas every other time getting up with the baby. But with two, there's no turn taking. Its both of you, every time! I was lucky to have Thomas with me 24/7 for the first two weeks. It was major adjusting to this new life and I needed his help! The day he went back to work I remember thinking there was no way I could do this by myself! It has taken me about four months, but i'm finally on a schedule now! This has made things so much easier for me!
(Perfect sleeping babies. Proud shot from their mama!)
(Famous one of Cohen yelling at Simon!)
(One week old. Celebrating their first Easter!)
(Haha funny shirts.)
(This is how it is everywhere we go! Everyone wants to hold them! Good thing there's two!)
(In their little crab outfits daddy picked out!)
(Simon used to always stick his fingers in his ears. Cohen showing us his guns!)
(Darling little owl hats my friend Sarah's sister made!)
(Pretending they can sit)
(Ready for the 4th!)
(Here with Uncle Kerry and John! two generations of Identical twins!)
(little boys now!)
Ahsley I cried my eyes out while I read this . Your an amazing person and Im so sorry you had a scary c section. I had an emergency c section with hayze so I can relate with the pain of recovery. Those sweet boys are adorable!! I look up to you as a mother of twins. Its amazing how the lord can bless us with such wonders and its an insint love that can never be explained or lost. So sweet!
ReplyDeleteYou have the most adorable little boys! I can't imagine how hard would it be to have first twins! You are one amazing woman and God bless you all
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